


Realization

by orphan_account



Category: Far Cry 3
Genre: Angst, Hurt, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Therapy, seriously this is just fucked up, vent fic, working through your issues hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 05:06:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16212029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Five years later Jason is still in therapy, working through the things that happened on Rook Islands. His therapist helps him make a realization.





	Realization

**Author's Note:**

> this is your last warning. i'm serious. read the tags and please back away if those topics affect you. please.  
> i've just finished watching this game today and this is all i could think of.

It’s a tuesday evening. 5:53PM. Jason is on his way to the therapist, as every week for the past years. He’s taking meds to help manage his nightmares and panic attacks he suffers from as a result of the PTSD he’s been diagnosed with after coming back from the Rook Islands back in 2012.

It’s now 2018 and he’s slowly working through all the things that happened in the two weeks that have successfully ruined his life.

He knows that he could have been a warrior king alongside Citra. He knows that his life would have been far more eventful. But Liza is all he needs, his friends are all he needs. None of them have come away from the islands unscathed, he thinks Keith and Riley might be worse than him even, and sometimes they go to group therapy together.

He’s going to be a father.

He’s already looking forward to that adventure, he’s sure it’s going to be entirely new, entirely different. It won’t be something that finally grounds him to his chosen life, but it will be something that keeps him there. Keeps him in the states, in the year 2018, in the reality of the boring Jason Brody.

 

Just when he thinks he’s shared everything that happened, his therapist asks about Citra. Of course he’s talked about her before, how he was tempted to stay back with her and abandon his friends, his family, his life. She’d almost gotten him to kill Liza, he doesn’t even want to think about it.

Today he speaks about the trial against a demon, how Citra had put him on some heavy drug, he doesn’t even know what it was, and left him to fight against a fever dream. It’d felt so real.

Jason also tells her about when he woke up Citra was sitting on his lap. That’s the dream of every 25 year old, right? He doesn’t tell his therapist all the details, but he admits to being proud. He remembers the pride he felt in that moment, an exotic beauty, all for himself.

The most powerful woman had desired him, had taken him.

His therapist waits until he’s done talking, exhales, waits a moment longer before she asks him:

“Were you aware? You mentioned a drug.” To which he shakes his head but does it really matter? The hottest woman on Rook Islands--!

His therapist hesitantly extends a hand, she’s done that a few times to express her emotions, to let him know that she’s sorry for what happened. But there’s nothing to be sorry about, right?

“That wasn’t right. I’m sorry it happened to you, you didn’t deserve to be raped.”

Rape, but it wasn’t-- was it?

The realization hits him like a freight train, his brain feels like it’d been swiped completely empty except for this one word, bouncing back from the walls of his brain, multiplying, taking over him and suffocating him.

He does not remember how he ended up on the floor, hunched over, hands clutching at his head. He does not recognize the pained wail that leaves his mouth, does not recognize it as his own voice. He’s not even fully aware that he’s still in the office of his therapist.

She’s kneeling beside him, not touching him, keeping her distance. She calls his name, calmly until he can hear her voice again over the ringing in his ears.

His eyes open, tears are falling on the carpet but he opens his eyes and she takes it as a sign that he can hear her. He’s still grasping at his head, pulling his hair, trying to get the word out of his brain. He wants to take a spoon and scrape his head empty until there’s nothing of him left.

“I need you to breathe for me.”

Has he stopped breathing? He can’t tell. The room is spinning around him, he’s breathing but no oxygen makes it to his lungs.

“In. And out. Slowly. You’re doing great, Jason. Breathe with me. It’s okay, you’re save.”

Jason knows panic attacks, but he’s never known them like this. This is new. Just when he thinks he made progress he feels like some rubber band snapped and pulled him back to square one.

He was raped. Citra raped him and the realization is forever burned into his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr!  
> [@schattenlurch](https://www.schattenlurch.tumblr.com)  
> [@stubsel](https://www.stubsel.tumblr.com)


End file.
